TONY ABBOTT & A short summary of effexor withdrawal by Ruth Horsfall
TONY ABBOTT
I can’t stop thinking about the fact that at one stage in my life
I thought that Tony Abbott was a bit attractive and
what does that say about me?
I murmur to myself when a dog doesn’t approach me for a pat:
he knows about the Tony Abbott thing
I am glad that I understand the limits of identity politics
And how they are put to use to
Encourage well meaning people to
Lose sight of the big picture yet
I feel an urge to scream FANCYING TONY ABBOTT IS RADICALLY GAY
And still, I can’t stop thinking
don’t fat shame dogs.
A short summary of effexor withdrawal
A whole body filling with white noise
Having to read every single comment on a youtube video
Proving a disappointment to every person you have ever met, in a specific manner related to their star sign
A stack of cookbooks balancing on a very full bladder
A bath-tub made of sandpaper
Waking up after 12 hours and not having moved a muscle, dreaming of slipping off a tree branch, attached to a car being driven as if you’re in grand theft auto
Playing a video game but only dying slow painful deaths by poisonous orange snails that make a sound like a suction cup being removed from a mouldy bathroom wall
Crying luxuriously because you were moved by the man cleaning the septic tank
Skeptically re-evaluating existence
Only identifying with bad gemini traits
Freezing cold while sweating through sheets onto a mattress, like a reverse sauna but no one notices but you
Peaking on company time, coming up and nowhere is soft enough to hold you
Going to a show with the volume turned right down
Doubting the benefits of oversharing
Regretting internet culture
Perfect posture but you can never laugh at scatological humour again
Weeping because you can’t apply moisturiser to your brain
Bitter disappointment with a book’s ending and it’s somehow to blame when you burn your finger and it feels like your whole hand is on fire but actually the blister is the size of an average peanut
Entering rooms reluctantly
Outrage that your friends have the audacity to be this
kind, thoughtful, beautiful, brave, creative, gentle, loving, knowing
Holding a funeral for your libido - attend, but lose interest halfway through and read a long form essay on your phone about how self care is cancelled
An ill-advised tweet about familial trauma
Remembering you still have never written a good metaphor
Removing your nose belligerently for the sole purpose of pissing off your countenance
Ungracefully conceding
A deferred ending
